Yes, I've grown up. I've grown stronger and tougher, emotionally.
Proud of myself.
I'm no longer hoping and clinging on you nor you nor you nor you nor you.
No longer crying over the spoilt milk. At least.
He was there from the beginning.
We never talk to each other until he talked to me for the first time, and I was attracted by him.
I started to seek for the common topics that we could talk.
I still remembered all the memories we had together.
In my heart, I always know that we are impossible.
Just because he is always there close to me. Forever there.
So I gave up. On me, not on him.
But there is always a space for him any time. Forever.
I met him in a bookshop. He was the cashier.
I remembered the way he smile, the first time he talked to me. There's when I was attracted by him.
I went there once a week, just to see him, just to pass him the books that I wanted to read.
And I saw his other half one day.
She is pretty.
I will never forget the way he looked and smiled at her. Different than anybody else. The smile that only belongs to her.
I sincerely wished that they will have a happy ending.
I wept. Silently. And I gave up on him and on me once again.
I've never met him face to face.
I've no idea how I'm attracted by him.
Maybe through the way he talks. The way he boasts about things.
He always never fail to humiliate and entertain me through his words.
I feel comfortable and being myself whenever I talk to him.
The only one. I missed him.
In my heart deep deep end, sincerely, I hope he can find his true love.
And there was him. My first couple. And maybe the last, who knows?
I was attracted by him for no reason.
He brought me to the heaven even though it was just a few months.
He pulled me down to the hell for years.
I screamed, I cried, I mentally, physically, and emotionally breakdown. Yet, thinking rationally.
So I learnt. Take it easy. Keep smiling. I don't want to live as if I'm dead.
I ain't wishing him for a happy life. That's how I pay back my revenge for bringing me to hell for years.
And I realized how weak I am through a friend. I was such a weakling.
Not being able to protest for myself. Not being able to protect myself. From things that could hurt me.
So I changed. I covered myself with tons of thorns. Built a castle that nobody can comes in. I started to rebel.
And I met him. I found my key and my way out.
I came out from the previous Pandora box that filled with darkness.
And I found out he was taken. His other half is sweet, kind and smart. That I could find no thing to criticise on her.
I am working under her. She treat everybody hell nice.
Once again, sincerely wishing them to have a happy ending.
And there I go. As calm as a cucumber.
That's why I say I've grown.
